DEALING WITH GOSSIP AS A CHRISTIAN - By PASTOR DAVID J. LEET

With this topic comes some very hard and relevant questions, which effects all levels of life and society.

My aim here is to call people both, who know and love our Lord Jesus Christ, and those who as yet have not come to know Him.

Therefore, in this study, as in all of my studies, I am seeking to help and encourage people, to do there own studies to find the answers they need, to enhance their lives and their faith.

So, in the following study, we will be looking through the Bible, the Dictionary meanings and the Hebrew meanings of the word and the practice of gossip.

At this point I would say this to you; I make no apologies at all if this seems a hard topic, as many lives have been extremely adversely affected , as a result of gossip !

Neither do I apologise for aiming at believers in church first, then non believers !

INTRODUCTION

I have some questions for us to ask ourselves.

1) What are the roots of gossip ?

2 ) How subtle are the effects ?

3 ) How easy is it to be caught up in gossip ?

4 ) What are the real effects or fruits of gossip ?

5 ) How should we as Christians treat gossip ?

6 ) Is gossip a fruit of the spirit ?

7 ) Do we have control over what we speak out ?

Romans 1 V 29-32:

29 Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers,

30 Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents,

31 Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful:

32 Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.

Exodus 20 V 16 - No False Witness, 4th Commandment

16 Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.

Don’t Lie

Rumours

Stories

Tattle Tales

Idle Talk

Intimate and Private Talks of Another Person

Gossip Destroys:

• Self Esteem - Self Confidence and can lead to depression, suicidal thoughts, eating disorders, anxiety and more issues.

• Destroys relationships and trust.  It can begin us on a self centred fear and obsession that others are going to gossip about us.

• Gossip is toxic to trust.  Some become paranoid and fearful.

• A person can be known as a ‘Gossiper’, spreads rumours regularly and casually.

• A frequent reality is that Gossip is a form of abuse.  It takes the form of a person saying nasty things about others.  Killing the victim’s character and self esteem and worth.

• Gossipers gossip to feel superior, wanting attention - feeling insecure, to fit in, wanting revenge, venting emotions, entertaining themselves.

• Gossip is a wilful engagement in evil, a malicious spirit.

• James 1 V 26:  If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion is vain.

In the 17th Century, Matthew Henry Wrote:

“The man who has a distracting tongue cannot have a truly humble and gracious heart.  There is no strength or power in that religion which will not enable a man to bridle his tongue.

We need to politely distance ourselves from conversations or interactions that involve gossip.

God Says; “Talebearer” = Hebrew ‘Rakiyl’

Proverbs 16 V 28:

28 A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends.

Leviticus 19 V 16:

16 Thou shalt not go up and down as a talebearer among thy people: neither shalt thou stand against the blood of thy neighbour; I am the Lord.

The world would say that you don’t have to forgive and forget, just remember the life lessons.  This is based on the premise that the person will not repent, but continue to Gossip.

I would tend to think more like this:

John 8 V 23-24:

23 And he said unto them, Ye are from beneath; I am from above: ye are of this world; I am not of this world.

24 I said therefore unto you, that ye shall die in your sins: for if ye believe not that I am he, ye shall die in your sins.

Luke 6 V 27-38:

27 But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you,

28 Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you.

29 And unto him that smiteth thee on the one cheek offer also the other; and him that taketh away thy cloak forbid not to take thy coat also.

30 Give to every man that asketh of thee; and of him that taketh away thy goods ask them not again.

31 And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.

32 For if ye love them which love you, what thank have ye? for sinners also love those that love them.

33 And if ye do good to them which do good to you, what thank have ye? for sinners also do even the same.

34 And if ye lend to them of whom ye hope to receive, what thank have ye? for sinners also lend to sinners, to receive as much again.

35 But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil.

36 Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful.

37 Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:

38 Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.

If we cannot forgive and forget we lay a foundation for stronghold within ourselves.

“I can never forgive him or her or them”

This thought and attitude gets into our heart and mind and spirit, making us sick and taking us out of line with God’s Word and desire for us.

William MacDonald said in his One Day At A Time Devotional:

“Sin begins in the mind.  If we indulge it there, eventually we will commit the act unless we control the fountain, we won’t be able to control the stream that flows from it”

These strongholds are:

Unforgiveness, Resentment, Bitterness, Lack of Empathy, Anger, Cold Hearted, Abusive.

These take us away from Godly Thinking AND ATTITUDES away from Christ Cenntredness and Christlike Mindedness.

Now the person who Gossips, opens up a whole series of problems for themselves too, it results in pride and disgrace.

Proverbs 11 V 12:

12 He that is void of wisdom despiseth his neighbour: but a man of understanding holdeth his peace.

So Why Would Some Want To Gossip?

1. To Bond with Group Members

2. To Entertain Themselves and Feel Superior

3. Exchange Information

4. Vent Emotions

5. Maintain Social Order

So What Does This Say About The Person?

Knowing something about someone or a group, can tend to make a Gossiper feel empowered and superior, attention seeking, with the need to fit in.

However, look at what is says about them!

They come off as Harsh, Aggressive, Intimidating, demeaning, insincere, and about themselves.

This is opposite what God wants for us to beg, as the impacts on both the Gossiper and The Victim, are quite mentally significant.

So Where Does Gossip Begin?

In worldly terms, it begins to bond groups which were continually growing. In spiritual terms, it is engaging in evil speaking.

Spiritual Warfare: A malicious spirit, as it is ungodly activity and leads to isolation.

So What Do We Do About It?

1. Go before God to Confess Gossip.

2. Ask to be able to forgive the Gossipers in your life and in your past.

3. Cast out the malicious spirit in and around your life in Jesus name and blood.

Learn to walk opposite this behaviour.

1 Peter 5 V 5: Be Humble Instead of Proud.

5 Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.

1 Peter 5 V 6: Humble Yourself Before God.

6 Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:

Philippians 2 V 3-5: Think of Others First, Be Christians.

3 Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.

4 Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.

5 Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:

We need to develop unselfish love in order to truly forgive. 

1 Corinthians 13 V 5:

5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

Forgiving others is a pathway to spiritual renewal, mental peace and emotional healing.

It can bring a gentleness and self control.

We can build our character by developing empathy and compassion, rebuilding undermined self esteem.

Forgiveness releases our hold on things that only cause us pain.  It brings us closer to experiencing and giving God’s grace and mercy in our lives, allowing us to grow goth as individuals and as a collective group.

It reminds us we are all human and make mistakes.

So then forgiveness will bring us close to God, breaks the chains of resentment, healing emotions and giving peace.

Jesus said - Forgive 70 x 7 Times! (Matthew 18 V 21-35, Matthew 6 V 14-15)

21 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?

22 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

23 Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened unto a certain king, which would take account of his servants.

24 And when he had begun to reckon, one was brought unto him, which owed him ten thousand talents.

25 But forasmuch as he had not to pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and children, and all that he had, and payment to be made.

26 The servant therefore fell down, and worshipped him, saying, Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all.

27 Then the lord of that servant was moved with compassion, and loosed him, and forgave him the debt.

28 But the same servant went out, and found one of his fellowservants, which owed him an hundred pence: and he laid hands on him, and took him by the throat, saying, Pay me that thou owest.

29 And his fellowservant fell down at his feet, and besought him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will pay thee all.

30 And he would not: but went and cast him into prison, till he should pay the debt.

31 So when his fellowservants saw what was done, they were very sorry, and came and told unto their lord all that was done.

32 Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me:

33 Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee?

34 And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him.

35 So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.

MATTHEW 6:14-15

14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:

15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Forgive Them, God Forgives You!

DISCUSSION

PRAYER